Poor shower power bad for mental health

Power-shower lovers of the world unite – science is on our side.

There’s a mathmetical formula for the perfect shower.

The balance of privacy, pressure, time and temperature in the shower all need to be carefully moderated to create the perfect shower experience, according to Mindlab International.  

The team led by neuropsychologist Dr David Lewis developed the formula for Cheltenham-based manufacturers Mira Showers

. . . Dr Lewis said: “Creating the optimum shower is no easy feat, but a worthwhile endeavour. It offers psychological benefits; by varying the temperature of the water and the power of the jets, relaxation or stimulation can be aided.

 “Endorphins are then released in the brain to make our mood more positive and feel energised.

 “Also, because our skin contains a thousand nerve endings per square inch, creating the perfect shower to stand under is crucial in creating intense and extremely pleasurable physical sensations.

 “As an added bonus, showers generate negative ions that also have an uplifting effect on mood, so help to further reduce stress, wash away frustrations and dissolve muscle tension.”

All this and you smell sweeter too.

The shower formula took into consideration the following seven essential elements: water pressure, environmental conditions, privacy factor, time length of shower, temperature of shower in degrees Celsius, fixture type and spray pattern.

As goNZofreakpower (who led me to this story) says:

. . .  there’s a good likelihood that 6 litres per minute water pressure could lead to psychological impairment and unwarranted levels of stress. Who knows, maybe low pressure showers might even be a form of child abuse!

But there might be some good news in the bad news of the shower power story because it could be the one to wash away nanny state.

It’s been a watershed for Kerre Woodham:

. . . But to hear that the Department of Building and Housing is to regulate the water pressure of my shower is a step too far. As of February, the maximum allowable flow rate in new homes or renovated bathrooms will be six litres a minute. At present, most showers run at 16 or more litres a minute.

Oh, they tried to soft-soap us and tell us we wouldn’t know the difference – but if there’s one thing I regard as sacrosanct, it’s my ablutions.

. . .  And when it comes to showering, being blasted by a spray of water with the strength of a water cannon is to know one of the blessings of living in the First World. I’ve had lesser showers before, showers where they’ve tried to make up for the lack of water by increasing the force, and it’s like showering in needles. Starting the day doing a St Sebastian is not something I recommend.

 . . .  But do you know what galls me beyond belief? I cannot believe I have to justify my desire for a good strong shower! I cannot believe I have to make a case for having the water pressure of my shower the way I like it. It’s all alarmingly Jesuit. Cold, dribbling showers are only a step away from hair shirts and daily thrashings – all because we have the temerity to have bettered ourselves. Bloody Greens.

I blame myself. Other people saw this level of legislation coming and were shouting warnings years ago. I had my head in the sand. I thought people were being alarmist, or over-reacting, or just a bit one-eyed in their political thinking.

But oh no. They were right and I was wrong. I still don’t know who I’ll vote for this election, but Nick Smith may have won me over with his robust defence of the right to shower in peace. Praise John Key and pass the blue rinse.

 Keeping Stock is similarly steamed up.

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