Embonpoint – plumpness, stoutness; plump or fleshy part of the body, in particular a woman’s bosom.
An agricultural salesman is visiting a farm with a view to flogging a new type of combine harvester.
“No, sorry son,” says the farmer, “my pig takes care of all the harvesting – I have no need for your fancy gizmo.”
“Could save you money in the long-term” tries the salesman.
“No, your combine would never match my pig’s productivity – you should see him go – swishing away with that scythe.” The salesman is intrigued about this pig and asks to see the animal.
The farmer leads the salesman to an enclosure. Standing within – tall and proud – is the most magnificent pig the salesman has ever seen. But the pig has a wooden leg.
“That is a very impressive pig, but why’s he got a wooden leg?” asks the salesman.
“This pig is more than ‘impressive’ – I’m sure he’s unique! Do you know he can also drive the tractor!?”
“Really? But why’s he got a wooden leg?” “He drives our children to school and back!! – even helps them with their homework!!”
“I’m impressed” admits the salesman, “but why the wooden leg?”
“This pig is also a leading authority on organic farming; thanks to him we’ve managed to branch out, and now our revenue is higher than that of any other farm in this county!! “
Yeah, yeah!! You’ve got one hell of a pig – I can see that by just looking at him – but why does it have a wooden leg!?” the salesman asks again.
“Did I mention the publishing deals? This pig’s just written a best seller and signed up the movie rights. He’s making us a fortune.”
“Amazing, truly amazing – but why ‘s he got a wooden leg?
The farmer looks admiringly at his pig and then turns to the salesman: “If you had a pig like this would you eat him all at one go?”
Were summers really hotter in the 1960s and 70s?
Memory isn’t always reliable but when I look back I recall day after day of sunny weather.
Almost every weekend from Labour weekend to Easter my family would pack a picnic and head to water. Sometimes it was All Day Bay, but more often we went to the river – Gemmell’s Crossing or Clifton Falls.
Sometimes we’d have a mid-week bonus trip too, taking a picnic dinner to the river when Dad got home from work.
The last couple of weeks have been just like that.
It’s great harvest weather but, as always one farmer’s dream is another’s nightmare, and many are facing drought.
while nothing beats water from the sky, irrigation ensures the grass grows when the weather doesn’t co-operate.
That is a major change from when I was growing up.
Then dry weather left the countryside parched and farmers with few options but to de-stock.
Now, thanks to extensive irrigation a good deal of North Otago is still green and growing.
The Opposition keeps telling the government to meddle with the exchange rate.
Trans Tasman points out the difficulty of doing that without causing other problems:
. . . Interest rates are at their lowest level in nearly 40 years, easing financial pressure on those with mortgages. The Govt holds an ace up its sleeve in the exchange-rate debate.
To critics who call for policies to lower the exchange rate, it can say “how would you do it: cut interest rates or raise them?”
Cuts in interest rates would increase inflationary pressure and push up house prices. Higher interest rates would attract even more speculative currency inflows, and lift the exchange rate higher. . .
Neither higher house prices nor higher interest rates would do anything to help make housing more affordable.
This soapbox is yours to use as you will – within the bounds of decency and absence of defamation.
You’re welcome to look back or forward, discuss issues of the moment, to pontificate, ponder or point us to something of interest, to educate, elucidate or entertain, to muse or amuse.
962 Pope John XII crowned Otto I, Holy Roman Emperor.
1653 New Amsterdam (later renamed The City of New York) was incorporated.
1709 Alexander Selkirk was rescued after being shipwrecked on a desert island, inspiring the book Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe.
1790 The U.S. Supreme Court convened for the first time.
1812 Russia established a fur trading colony at Fort Ross, California.
1829 William Stanley, inventor and engineer, was born (d. 1909).
1848 Mexican-American War: The Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo was signed.
1848 California Gold Rush: The first ship with Chinese emigrants arrives in San Francisco, California.
1876 The National League of Professional Baseball Clubs of Major League Baseball was formed.
1880 The first electric streetlight was installed in Wabash, Indiana.
1882 James Joyce, Irish author, was born (d. 1941).
1882 The Knights of Columbus were formed in New Haven, Connecticut.
1887 In Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania the first Groundhog Day was observed.
1899 The Australian Premiers’ Conference decided to locate Australia’s capital (Canberra) between Sydney and Melbourne.
1901 Queen Victoria’s funeral took place.
1905 Ayn Rand, Russian-born American author and philosopher, was born (d 1982).
1913 Grand Central Station opened in New York City.
1922 Ulysses by James Joyce was published.
1925 – The Charlevoix-Kamouraska earthquake struck northeastern North America.
1931 – Les Dawson, British comedian, was born (d. 1993).
1934 The Export-Import Bank of the United States was incorporated.
1935 Leonarde Keeler tested the first polygraph machine.
1940 David Jason, English actor, was born.
1946 The Proclamation of Hungarian Republic was made.
1947 Farrah Fawcett, American actress, was born (d. 2009).
1948 Al McKay, American guitarist and songwriter (Earth, Wind & Fire), was born.
1967 The American Basketball Association was formed.
1974 The men’s 1500-metre final at the 1974 Christchurch Commonwealth Games was called the greatest middle distance race of all time. Tanzanian Filbert Bayi won in a new world record time of 3 minutes 32.16 seconds. New Zealand’s emerging middle distance star John Walker came second, also breaking the existing world record. The remarkable feature of this race was the fact that the third, fourth (New Zealander Rod Dixon) and fifth place getters ran the fourth, fifth, and seventh fastest 1500m times to that date. The national records of five countries – Tanzania, Kenya, Australia, Great Britain and New Zealand – were all broken in this race.
1974 The F-16 Fighting Falcon flew for the first time.
1976 The Groundhog Day gale hits the north-eastern United States and south-eastern Canada.
1989 Soviet war in Afghanistan: The last Soviet Union armored column left Kabul.
1989 Satellite television service Sky Television plc launched.
1990 F.W. de Klerk allowed the African National Congress to function legally and promised to release Nelson Mandela.
2007 Four tornadoes hit Central Florida, killing 21 people.
2007 – Widespread flooding in Jakarta, began, eventually killing 54 and causing more than US$400 million in damages.
2009 – The Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe devalued the Zimbabwean dollar for the third and final time, making Z$1 trillion now only Z$1 of the new currency (this is equivalent to Z$10 septillion before the first devaluation).
Sourced from NZ History Online & Wikipedia